Ode to Da-da-da

I remember Morgan telling me about a conversation he had with my dad years ago when my dad asked him if he wanted children (knowing that I definitely did). Morgan was tentative about answering the question since the idea of having children, at that time, was something that he still wrestled with.

He told my dad that he wasn’t sure whether he wanted kids, but there were definitely things that he didn’t want to do – like change diapers. He was basically afraid to handle a child and looked at them as a giant chore and wondered if he would be a good father – afraid to mess up.

Present day:

Every night before retiring (yeah, I said ‘retiring’) I take a pass through the house to make sure everything is locked and turned off.

A couple of nights ago I headed off on my rounds to find:

1. The doors locked tight
2. The lights off
3. Fresh water in the cats’ bowl (whom Morgan doesn’t like)
4. Bottles cleaned and drying by the sink
5. Bottles for the next day made and sitting in the refrigerator
6. Macias’s lunch box unpacked and ready to be loaded up the next day
7. Dirty diapers taken out to the trash
8. Humidifier filled and running
9. Laundry done (but not put away yet - that's my job)
10. Clean dishwasher unloaded, dirty dishes from sink in dishwasher

Each morning I get up, get myself ready for work then fix breakfast for Macias. I get him up and feed him just in time for me to run out the door and still be late for work.

Morgan’s job is to:

1. Select what Macias is going to wear to daycare and get him dressed
2. Wash Macias’s hands and face and douse with lotion
3. Play
4. Make sure Macias gets a nap (which includes sometimes letting him sleep longer and sacrifice himself, being up to 45 minutes late to work just so Macias gets some sleep).
5. Pack Macias’s lunch bag
6. Pack extra clothes for day care
7. Pack up Macias and dropping him off at daycare

Morgan’s favorite things:

1. Bath night, making sure that a towel is being heated in the dryer for when Macias gets out of the water in to the cold air
2. Coming home from work to receive a giant smile from his biggest fan

The other night I was playing peek-a-boo with Macias which was making him smile and Morgan came over and said “No, you have to do it like this”. He proceeded to play a different way which sent Macias into a laughing fit.

This morning I asked Morgan to start my car for me since he was already outside doing something (in his socks in 30 degree weather). I looked outside and he not only started my car, but was scraping the frost off of all of my windows so I could get a few more minutes of play time with my son.

Is Mommy even needed anymore? What is there left for me to do?

I wonder if he still worries if he’ll be a good father.