I've been trying to blog for a few days, but I just don't feel up to it. Nothing is moving me to write. Sure, there are things happening, doctors have been visited (Macias's 4 month check up with shots), tears have been shed (again, Macias's - he had a bit of a fever from this round of shots and he has also been battling some bouts of constipation - picture a soft serve machine and us pumping his legs, yeah, gross), and I feel as if I'm getting fatter by the day.
I think it's my mind telling me that I am now past the point of people looking forgivingly at my figure saying "she just had a baby" to thinking "did she put on weight?". I'm a lardo - no question. These last 8-10 pounds won't go anywhere. I went to the doctor for different symptoms, but came away finding that the pregnancy totally screwed up my thyroid. I just started medication and hopefully when it kicks in I'll have more energy, more appetite, and a better metabolism which will in turn help me lose weight. I really need to start exercising, too. I used to be so good about it, but now I just don't have the drive. Even my fat stomach can't make me exercise which is rare.
On the flip side, work has been good and Macias is getting cuter by the day. My favorite time of day now is when I wake him up at 9pm for his last feeding and after he eats, while I'm changing his diaper, he smiles and coos and talks to me. It's so hard to put him back in the crib. It's almost like he knows it's night because he whispers all of his sounds as opposed to his loud mouth during the day. He is such a joy.
I want to become a joy, too - I just need to shed my fat layer and I'll be all set...and have someone come clean my house.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Posted by Allison Bonner at 3:49 PM
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7 comments:
that fat layer stayed with me for 9 months. then it magically disappeared again. hallelujah because I was getting desperate. just hang on, it will eventually go away. Everything is rearranged and mushy after having a baby - no matter how much you work out. so dont feel like there is anything you could be doing differently. You are WAY more functional than I was at this stage. Work? Are you kidding me??? I lived under a dark cloud until Brig was at least 4 months. So you are better than you know!!!
I hear ya. I'm still up 10-ish from where I want to be. And I am totally unmotivated in the exercise department. No helpful advice here, just know you're not alone!
Are you still breastfeeding? I know a lot of women who breastfed whose bodies just kept an extra 5-10 pounds on, and they magically melted away after they weaned their little ones. I think it's the body's natural way of keeping some meat on your bones for baby. :)
And coming from someone who also is having thyroid issues, I hear ya on being totally unmotivated. Go easy on yourself, and know that the medication helps A LOT. Just be sure to check your levels again in a few months, because it might be postpartum thyroiditis, so your body might regulate itself eventually. In that case the meds will give you a whole different set of symptoms, none of which are very much fun either. (I'm sure the doc told you all this...) Hang in there!
Oh ma petite rouge, you are lovely and you know it. You really can't complain when your "extra" weight is located in a most desirable chest-area! ;)
And I so loved the ages of 4-6 months...they really do get cuter and more fun by the hour! Good luck figuring out all of your different roles in your new Mommy world. You're doing great!
oh jayna, you keep saying that it's in my chest and i keep telling you that it isn't. it's my stomach!!! my chest has shriveled and shrunk since i'm not breastfeeding anymore. i stopped about a month ago when my milk started to dry up. i'm still waiting for the melting and the magic, but alas. i've only been on my meds for 1.5 weeks so i don't think they've really kicked in yet. thanks for everyone's support!
I feel your pain, Allison.
But when I saw you at the Vrabels right after you had Macias, the first though that ran through my mind was, "I wish I would look as good as she does before I got pregnant!"
Be kind to yourself. Your stomach will eventually go down. You just had a baby! It hasn't been that long ago that you were pregnant. Give your body time. It will all come together.
I'm not just writing this to you, but to me as well.
P.S. I'm glad I'm not the only one who wishes she had a cleaning lady. Ours looks like we've been robbed.
All I can say is we all sport a few extra pounds... so join the club :) Mine will leave if I am very good about what I eat and how much I exercise--which I never really am.
Love you much.
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